Yarraman Via Esk – Jul 26, 2009 – by Michael Ross

Arriving at the BP for Queen Julie's (Xena) ride to Yarraman I heard Two-Stroke call me Gutter, obviously a carry over from my “riding into a ditch” incident. So I've had Mountain Man, M&M (which is short for Mountain Man) and now Gutter. And it made me think, if I was the child of a Hollywood Celebrity they'd probably call me Ditch – has that “Child of Hollywood Celeb” sound to it and is short and snappy without too many syllables (one is not too many).

Slowly the numbers grew. King James arrived and informed us, with a smirk, his absence has been due to being on Death's Door. And our illustrious Sheriff Marmite decided to come for a spin. And what would you know, he arrives with some kind of cooties. Probably a rare form of Feline/Avian/Klingon/Equine Flu (FAKE for short) – I know we haven't heard about it yet, but give the media time and they'll drum up a nice scaremongering campaign around it (like SARS years ago, Bird Flu the other year, Swine flu this year). But being the hardcases we are we risked his cooties and greeted him accordingly.

While hot brews from the BP's Wild Bean cafe were gladly consumed, Queen Julie (Xena) arrived, with new Saddle Bags on her ride too. Others marveled at the white-wall tires on Young Bob's ride. And the rest were distracted by the other Young Bob arriving on his Goldwing with radio blaring (must be so he could hear it over the percolating sound of the bike's Espresso machine). But then it was time for the ride brief. And it would be a straight run up through Esk – all main road, which is rural main road up that way. And did I hear correctly that Morning Tea would be provided?

As the hour hand moved to the top of the clock and the little hand pointed at the nine, we set off. First obstacle, crossing the Warrego Hiway. An event that always splits the group. So it was decided we'd regroup just the other side of Fernvale where there is a long lane on the left side of the road.

As usual the Fernvale markets made the place busy. And as we rode through town I spotted a Ulyssian on the side of the road waiting. He was probably waiting for the Mt Lindesay branch as they had a ride to Somerset the same day and would come by this direction. I don't think he joined our ride by mistake. But with 28 bikes and 4 trikes it is hard to keep track of everyone.

Esk came into view and we parked up at the park – near the toilets. And then were informed there'd be Pikelets with jam and cream for morning tea. Made with love by Queen Julie (Xena), Lizzie and King James – who'd wanted to use beer in the recipe instead of water. I didn't taste any beer so the girls must have had their way.

Around about this time I spotted Marmite and Ado smiling wryly and looking in my direction. When I approached to ask what was going on, Marmite closed his Sheriff Fine Book and said “nothing” with a grin. Nothing, in deed. But by the way he was furiously writing in his book he must have been taking note of Lots of fines – to make up for his non-presence previously perhaps.

With pikelet sugar coursing through our veins we headed off to Yarraman but stopped for another pitstop at Moore. And a few minutes later were off again. Those who wanted to ride faster through the up coming twisties were advised to get to the front so they could overtake the ride leader when given the signal, and then rejoin the group at Blackbutt.

I ended up behind a white bike with rear outrigger wheels. And as he cornered, one of the wheels would lift off of the ground. Man, if anything makes you ride covering your breaks in case you need to stop suddenly it's following a bike (or side car) that lifts wheels off the road as it corners.

Passing on an overtaking lane I caught up to the lead group leaving a rather large gap behind. A gap that was traversed rapidly by a Volvo Driver!!! Obviously, doing 100kph in a hundred zone on a rural road wasn't good enough and she overtook some of us only to be caught at the roadwork traffic lights (which saw some running around and photo taking by a mysterious helmeted lady, a bit of impatient horn honking and a ready-set-GO racing hand signal as the light changed to green). But the Bloody Volvo Driver managed to get by us all and zoomed off into the distance.

Finally we ride into Yarraman. Our parking area is behind the pub and you enter off a residential street. And as you can imagine, when 28 bikes and 4 trikes roll into town everyone notices. And one group of kids on a property bordering the parking area had to have a look at this motley crew. And while they wondered about the bikes from the safety of their yard, Howza, Two Stroke and Ado drooled over a Triumph Rocket III that pulled into the car park (one of the Mt Lindesay members has one as well, so more drooling can go on when we ride to the Interbranch BBQ on August 9 – if he is there, that is).

But the worms were biting and we headed into the feed'n room. Oddly, taking orders seemed to take a long while with Steak Sandwich & Chips being the most popular. And while I enjoyed a nice cup of tea, Queen Julie (Xena) some juice and just about everyone else some kind of alcoholic Beverage, I commented that it was kind of like Leyburn (where the food was slo-o-o-ow in coming) because of the slow order taking.

As beverages were consumed and conversations engrossed in, Two Stroke's chair was swapped for a baby's high chair to the delight of the crowd. And slowly the meals began appearing. Delivered by very confused young waiters.

There seemed to be no order to the way the meals were made. Though one inquiry garnered the “the cook is making all the steak sandwiches first” response. Much to the disappointment of those who'd ordered more intricate meals like Rump Steak & Chips or Fish & Salad. And as the meal debacle continued it became more and more like Leyburn. Lizzie and King James ordered the same thing at the same time. Lizzie got her meal while they completely forgot about King James. They tried to give me two steak sandwiches – of which I had to wait an hour for the one I had ordered. And overall it was a complete and utter shambles by the Yarraman Pub, who knew well in advance (over a week) of our arrival yet still botched it up!

Following my cold steak sandwich I had to go – work later that night. But wasn't the only one as others were also making a move. All the while there were still people who had not received their lunch order- and it'd been around an hour and a half now (pathetic). And with Hagar and Pinkie first to get going I decided to follow them – until they pulled over for fuel at which point I kept going. Occasionally passing some members of our group on the side of the road who'd left earlier for coffee and stops elsewhere.

I was joined by one of our Goldwing riding members as we passed some cars and a cattle truck. But was solo again as he also pulled in for fuel. Having only the company of the cop car in front of me from Mt Glorious turnoff outside Fernvale back through to Blacksoil, at which point he decided the speed limit was not fast enough and was off.

Thanks Queen Julie Xena. While the ride did get up to some higher speed in places, overall it was a nice steady pace. And I can only imagine what it must have looked like to cars coming the other way to see our large group led by a Pink Streak with loud pipes. The pikelets were a nice touch.

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Last update 4:05pm Thursday 06 August 2009